Republican Mice Played In Debate While Democratic Cat Was Away

Remember the old saying, ‘when the cat’s away, the mouse will play?’ Well last night’s Republican presidential “debate” showed seven, count ’em… seven mice running around the stage in New Hampshire, having a grand ole time. And with the cat – President Obama – out of town on a fundraising event, all seven mice took turns at attacking the cat, instead of showing the differences among themselves. After all, was it not a debate?

The lead mouse, Mitt Romney answered just about every question asked with the same answer: that President Obama “has failed to lead.” Mr. Romney, what is your answer to the economic crises we’re in right now? “Mr. Obama has failed to lead.” Mr. Romney, what will you do about jobs? “Mr. Obama has failed to lead.” Mr. Romney, what color is your tie? “Mr. Obama has failed to lead.” To be more exact, Romney said;

“This president has failed, and he’s failed at a time when the American people counted on him to create jobs and get the economy growing.”  Any one of the people on this stage would be a better president than President Obama.”

And the people, or other mice that Romney referred to? Rick Don’t Google His Name Santorom, Michele Don’t know American History Bachmann, Ron Against The Civil Rights Act Paul, Herman Pizza-man Cain, Tim Super Dork Pawlenty and Newt Flipp Flopper Gingrich. So there they were, seven mice running around the stage, each trying to prove that while the cat was away doing his fundraiser, they are more than capable of carrying the biggest piece of cheese.

The blame game continued.

Herman Cain, when asked what his administration would do to create jobs?  “The thing we need to do is to get this economy boosted. This economy is stalled. It’s like a train on the tracks with no engine. And the administration has simply been putting all of this money in the caboose.”

Rick Santorom, picking up where Herman Cain left off, chimed in with, “Yeah, I think we need a president who’s optimistic, who has a pro-growth agenda.”

Question for Tim Pawlenty – talk about your economic plan. Pawlenty’s answer? ” This president is a declinist. He views America as one of equals around the world.” Then Mitt Romney continued the love-fest… sorry, debate. “This president has failed. And he’s failed at a time when the American people counted on him to create jobs and get the economy growing. And instead of doing that, he delegated the stimulus to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, and then he did what he wanted to do: card-check, cap-and-trade, Obamacare, reregulation.” Not to be left out in the cold, Newt Gingrich added, “The Obama administration is an anti-jobs, anti-business, anti- American energy destructive force.”

Ron Paul, asked by the moderator if there was anything nice he can say about the president, replied, “No, no, I can’t think of anything.”

But the biggest cheese carrier of the night has to go to Michele Bachmann, who, among other things, claimed that the Teaparty “is really made up of disaffected Democrats, independents, people who’ve never been political a day in their life.” Funny as that statement was, Bachmann opened her mouth again and this claim fell out, “we need everybody to come together because we’re going to win. Just make no mistake about it. I want to announce tonight. President Obama is a one-term president.”

Yes, Michele, we will take your word on that… just like we believed you when you claimed that the Founding Fathers “worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”

We won’t tell anyone the little truth that the Founders were all dead by the time slavery was abolished. Just our little secret Michele.