Tag: submissive

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Relationships women

Femininity And Submission In Relationships

Branden Lee is a blogger, screenwriter, producer, and actor, currently residing in Boston, MA. Follow Branden on Twitter and Tumblr.

Volleyball star Gabby Reece recently received a lot of backlash while promoting her new book My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper. According to the Today Show, Reece is quoted as saying “to truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and – look out, here it comes – submissive.” Reece has stated she finds female submission to be a sign of power instead of weakness. Gabby has been married to pro surfer Laird Hamilton for 17 years.

Gabby Reece and Laird Hamilton

Feminists were of course up in arms for hearing a woman say that the key to a successful marriage involves “submission” to ones husband, but Reece claims she didn’t mean it that way. Reece claims she meant it more as a willingness to compromise.

In a relationship, there definitely needs to be compromise. The problem with Reece’s statement is that it sounds antiquated and misogynistic. Submission has the connotation of weakness and that of course is insulting to women, and anyone that would find themselves in the feminine role in a relationship, gay, straight, lesbian, etc…

Two equals in a relationship does constantly leave to conflict which leads to a failed relationship. If both parties constantly refuse to concede and fight until they get their way, that only leads to animosity. Bitterness and resentment are not the ingredients for a healthy lasting loving relationship.

It’s important to make sure that one person is not completely dominating the other party, and gives up their wishes and desires only to please another at their own expense because that leads to bitterness and resentment as well. When one half concedes on one occasion, the other half of the relationship must alternately concede on the next occasion to make sure that a relationship is in fact equal. No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t care about what they want. If your partner isn’t willing to give you what makes you happy, although it may not be what they want, then they are not the partner for you.

Personally I am very feminine and I do prefer very masculine guys. Although I am super feminine, I am definitely far from submissive. I am a spoiled only child who gets extremely angry if I don’t get my way. I prefer guys that are super laid-back and not picky over certain things, so I guess I do best with guys that concede at my whimsy, but I’m not looking for a complete pushover.

More: Pastor Explains Women Were Born To Be Submissive And Subject To Men

Ideally I do need a guy that does challenge me, but doesn’t try to dominate me. I do encounter many men that assume that I will submit to their will, like a repressed obedient housewife pre-feminist movement, though the second they say something that bothers me, I will fight back. Feminine gay men have to show their patriarchal chauvinist male partners that there will be a no nonsense taking strong independent woman as well.

 Just because one may be submissive in the bedroom, doesn’t mean that translates to submissive overall in a relationship. Many may find that correlation, but the battle between linking femininity is so much more. It may be possible to be simultaneously seemingly submissive yet still maintain the power in the relationship. Boys are dumb and easily manipulated. Though not everyone has the expert manipulation skills to feign submissiveness into actual dominance.

In a perfect world there would be no dominance in relationships. There would always be equality, compromise, and never any abuse. Though we don’t live in a perfect world, and finding a relationship with all of those components seems impossible, though one should never remain in a relationship with abuse, especially physical. But a partner that do not compromise is a form of abuse, whether psychological, monetary, or emotional.

Moral of the story? Just because you’re feminine doesn’t mean you’re submissive, and don’t let any dominant masculine party force you into bitterness and resentment with their failure to compromise. The same works vice versa. Feminine parties can be dominant and beat their masculine partners into submission.

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Featured Religion women

Pastor Explains – Women Were Born To Be submissive And Subject To Men

I’m at a loss of words on this one, so I’ll let the so-called “pastor” explain.

His rant on the roles of men and women really got interesting somewhere around the 51 minute mark in his sermon, where he went out of his way to explain that men are not better than women. But after making that point, Pastor Steven Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona explained that he is a dictator in his home and that his wife is happy to play the submissive role. She “was born to be submissive and subject to me,” he said.

Here’s the transcript and the video is below.

When it comes to authority, there is no equality. You say, “How does your home run?” A dictatorship. Any questions? It’s a monarchy, okay? Mono. One boss. Okay? That’s how my home is run. That’s how every biblical home is run, by the way, okay? And you say, “Oh, your wife must hate you!” No, women love that. Because they were born to fill that role. Just like I was born to be the husband and the leader, my wife was born to be the wife and to be submissive and subject to me. And she’s gonna be most happier doing what God created her to do, just like I’m going to be most happy doing what God created me to do!

And, you know, you say, “Well, that’s not true, because I talk to all these women that are just, you know, they just want to be a feminist and stuff…” You know what? Here’s what I’ve found over the years: The women who are screaming the loudest that they want to be a feminist and that they don’t want a man telling them what to do, on the inside, are really screaming the loudest, please tell me what to do. Please put me in my place. And, you know what? If you don’t believe that? You’re just ignorant. It’s that simple.

And, yeah, I’m sure that there are some reprobate lesbians out there that have a different view. But let me tell you something: A normal woman, on the inside, wants to follow a leader. She wants to follow a husband. She wants a man there that she can look up to, not look down on…

Categories
Politics

Bachmann Changes The Meaning Of Submissive

Michele Bachmann is in a pickle.

Back in 2006, her husband Mr. Marcus Bachmann asked/told/commanded her to get a post-doctorate degree in tax law. Bachmann, recalling the incident, told her husband that she didn’t want to. “Tax law? I hate taxes,” Bachmann said to Marcus. “Why should I go into something like that? But the Lord says, be submissive. Wives, you are to be submissive to your husbands.'” So she did as she was told.

In the Republican debate last week Michele Bachmann was asked, if she wins the presidency, would she be submissive to her husband. The audience showed their displeasure in the question by booing the moderator, and a friend of mine joined in, saying that the question was sexist. Bachmann seemed to share the same feeling about the question. She hesitated, then answered, saying that to her, ‘submissive’ meant respect for each other.

I, on the other hand, think the question about her submissiveness to her husband was appropriate, seeing that she intends to run for the most powerful position in the United States of America. People ought to know exactly who will be making the crucial decisions and policies for the country. Who will she be answering too?

And the question didn’t stop at the debate. Michele Bachmann went on CBS’s Face The Nation on Sunday, and was asked to explain her “submissive” statement again, to which she continued her “submissive means respect” answer. She said, “submission, means respect – mutual respect. I respect my husband, he respects me,” she added. “We have been married 33 years, we have a great marriage…and respecting each other, listening to each other is what that means.”

The CBS host asked Michele if submissive meant subservient. Bachmann replied,

 “You know, I guess it depends on what word people are used to, but respect is really what it means. Not to us. To us it means respect. We respect each other, we listen to each other, we love each other and that is what it means.”

So I, determined to prove that my interpretation of the word was wrong all along, looked up the word in the dictionary. And to my shock and dismay, was this:

Submissive  (səbˈmɪsɪv) adj. “of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility, compliant.

Nowhere in that definition was the word “respect.” So still determined to prove that I was mistaken, I looked up the synonyms for submissive, and again, I was shocked to find the following;

Synonyms of Submissive:

  • abject,
  • accommodating,
  • acquiescent,
  • amenable,
  • bowing down,
  • conformable,
  • complying,
  • deferential,
  • docile,
  • domesticated,
  • dutiful,
  • giving in,
  • humble,
  • ingratiating,
  • lowly,
  • malleable,
  • meek,
  • menial,
  • nonresistant,
  • nonresisting,
  • obedient,
  • obeisant,
  • obeying,
  • obsequious,
  • passive,
  • pliable,
  • pliant,
  • resigned,
  • servile,
  • slavish,
  • subdued,
  • tame,
  • tractable,
  • uncomplaining,
  • unresisting,
  • yes,
  • yielding

I tried, and I simply cannot find the word “respect” as a definition for submission. But this comes as no surprise, we are talking about Michele Bachmann – she is the same one who tried to re-invent American history, and claim that America’s founding fathers “worked tirelessly to end slavery.”

So her claiming that “respect” means submission, is expected. It’s a lie… but it’s expected.

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