Tag: circumcision

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Man Loses His Penis While Being Circumcised

This cannot be the outcome he was going for, it’s definitely not a good look.

Johnny Lee Banks Jr. of Birmingham and his wife, Zelda Banks, filed the lawsuit Tuesday. They’re suing the hospital, doctors and others for medical malpractice.

The lawsuit says Banks went to Princeton Baptist Medical Center in Birmingham last month for a circumcision. The suit alleges the man’s penis was gone when he awoke.

The suit says that the mistaken amputation has caused the man extreme pain, and that his wife also is suffering.

The suit names the hospital, a urology group, a medical clinic and two doctors as defendants. It’s seeking an unspecified dollar amount.

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Arizona Barack Obama Birthers Donald Trump

Jan Brewer Kills Birther Bill In Arizona

We didn’t think she had it in her. But today, Jan Brewer vetoed a bill passed by both the Arizona Senate and House, and would have required all Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates to prove they are United States citizens.

The bill, which was sponsored in part and written to appease the Birther movement, would have appointed a person to determine the eligibility of presidential candidates, based on nothing else but their birth certificate and if that wasn’t available, their circumcision certificate (for males only, of course. Don’t ask what proof they’re asking of women).

“I do not support designating one person as the gatekeeper to the ballot for a candidate, which could lead to arbitrary or politically motivated decisions,” Ms Brewer said in a statement.

For some reason, and we’re not quite sure what that reason is – *wink wink* – birth certificates or questioning whether or not a president was born in this country, was never an issue with previous presidents. Something about President Obama – and we haven’t quite put our finger on it – has triggered an entire movement, now led by presidential hopeful Donald Trump, requesting this particular president comply with their demands.

“I never imagined being presented with a bill that could require candidates for president of the greatest and most powerful nation on earth to submit their ‘early baptismal circumcision certificates’ among other records to the Arizona secretary of state,” Ms Brewer said.

I guess knowing what the presidential candidate’s penis looked like was not an appealing thought for Mrs. Brewer. Too bad her fellow Republicans felt otherwise in the vetoed bill.

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Arizona Barack Obama Featured Natural born citizen of the United States United States

Arizona Needs To Know What A Presidential Candidate’s Penis Looks Like

Great! Just when you thought it was safe to go to Arizona, the Birthers officially took over the place.

Today, the Arizona Republican Senate bowed to the Birthers, and passed a bill requiring all presidential candidates to prove he or she is a natural-born citizen of the United States, prove their age and also prove that they meet the residency requirements, as dictated in the bill. If the presidential contender cannot provide the required proof within the alloted time period, then according to the bill, that person’s name cannot appear on the Arizona presidential ballot.

Also according to the bill, which passed both the Arizona House and Senate, the political party of the candidate must “provide to the Secretary of State written notice of that party’s nomination for President and Vice President.” The bill then states that within 10 days after the political party provides the names of their nominee, an affidavit must be presented to Arizona, stating “the candidate’s citizenship and age and shall append to the affidavit documents that prove the candidate is a natural-born citizen.”

And get this… just in case the candidate cannot provide their long-form birth certificate, the legislation has an alternative. The presidential candidate will be allowed to put their name on the Arizona ballot if they can provide, among other things, their circumcision certificate.

So to understand exactly what is required to be on the Arizona presidential ballot starting in 2012, all candidates will need; proof of age, proof of residency, a long-form birth certificate, and if all else fails, then your circumcision certificate will do.

Of course, that requirement is not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution, which clearly states, “no person except a natural born Citizen” shall be eligible for President of the United States. But apparently, the founding fathers forgot to mention the circumcision certificate as proof of eligibility.

The bill now heads back to the Arizona House for a final vote where it is expected to pass, then it goes to Republican Governor Jan Brewer’s desk for her to sign it into law. That too, is expected to happen.

Wonder if those founding fathers ever thought that a description of one’s penis will be a qualifier for a United States presidential candidate?

I don’t think so.

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