boyfriends Archives

The Parenting Extremes

For as long as I can remember I’ve had complete freedom when it comes with what I can do with my life. My parents have rarely, if ever, said I can’t do something or hang out with certain people. For as long as I can also remember, I’ve never met parents that are anywhere near as lenient as my parents; many of my friends parents hover over them in one way or another.

My parents didn’t think twice letting me drive and take my friends to play paintball

If you ask my parents why they give me such freedoms, their answer will be that they trust me completely. I’ve never given them a reason to not. I don’t come home drunk or on some drug(s), do reckless things, hang out with the wrong crowd, or be a total numb skull. This trust is what lets me leave late at night, come home even later, have my own car, promote for clubs, sleep over a girlfriends house and hang out with friends they have never met.

Now you may think my parents aren’t involved much in my life if they give me such freedom but, that would be wrong. I love hanging out with my mom and though I can be seen as a tougher kid, I’m not ashamed to say that. Sure me and my dad may get on each other nerves sometimes but, we still have a lot in common that keeps us close. I really do enjoy being around my parents and hanging out with them both.

I was trusted with a car as soon as I got my license

On the other side of the spectrum, most of my friends parents still have a tendency to hover over them as if they’re twelve years old. Their parents control who they hang out with, don’t trust them when they’re out, check in on them constantly, to sum it up they baby their teenage son or daughter. They seem to shelter their kid from the world as much as they possibly can, the same world they’ll one day be on their own to live in.

Ask these teens if they can’t wait to get away from their parents thanks to college or to just be able to move out one day and they will all say “yes!” These same teens usually go totally rebellious once they are free of their parents since they can finally choose their own life to live.

I am not a parent nor am I claiming to be one in anyway. I’ve never raised a kid and don’t plan to for many years to come. I am only a product of how I was raised by my parents; I was raised in a way that I believe every kid should be as well. We all need to be able to experience the world when we’re young, the world we will one day be on our own to live in.

A Nickname Is Worth A Thousand Words

Branden Lee is a blogger, screenwriter, producer, and actor, currently residing in Boston, MA. Follow Branden on Twitter and Tumblr.

A couple months ago Jezebel posted an article about giving nicknames to guys while dating multiple men. The piece really resonated with me, since I’ve been assigning guys nicknames for years.

I date a lot. It seems like with each new semester I tend to go on even more dates than the last. I’m 22, never had a boyfriend, don’t have a real job, and am a broke college student, a boy’s gotta eat. I only accept dinner dates. I believe that unless a guy is obviously a potential rapist, killer, or repulsive to look at, then you should always accept his invitation. Why not? Most of the time I have nothing else to do with my time, so I might as well be going on as many dates as possible.

I do meet most of my dates online through the various (gay) dating apps I use. Most people are online dating nowadays anyway. I used to be against online dating, until I realized every single gay person I knew in Boston was using it too. And when I hear about someone else going on a date, that makes me want to go on a date. I shouldn’t be disadvantaged, so I gave in to online dating and now 2 years later I currently actively use 5 of them. The past semester I had 9 dates with 7 guys, and that’s a lot of stories to relay back to my friends and blog about.

There’s no point in using a guy’s real name, it’s not descriptive enough when telling my friends or to blog about. A nickname can pretty much sum up a guy in one or more words to set the tone for the story. Over year years I’ve given guys monikers such as Guy-With-Girlfriend, The Accountant, Boy Toy, BC Boy, Guy-With-Girlfriend 2, Fake Boyfriend, Tranny Chaser, Former Fat Boy, Colombian… and the list goes on. There have been so many boys in my past, present, and future to remember. Nicknames are necessary to keep track of them, or at least try to.

Whenever I discuss a new boy with my friends, and when they discuss a new boy with me, it’s necessary they provide a brief biography of their latest paramour. I also demand pictures. Don’t tell me all about a guy, without at least providing a photo. I always send pictures of guys I’m going on a date with or hooked up with to my friends. Even for a one night stand I’ll hunt them down on Facebook or Google to find at least one photo to relay back to my friends. Nothing’s worse than giving a long detailed story about a guy without being able to show your listeners who you’re talking about.

But if a guy does make a repeated appearance, it’s definitely necessary to give him a nickname. Your friends won’t remember who “Tom”, “Mike”, or “Paul” are. Especially if they’ve never met and most likely never will meet them, and they know several other guys with those names. Thus making it absolutely imperative to give your dates/hookups a nickname.

A nickname can consist of anything that is remotely unique to the guy. Don’t label a guy as “black guy” if you hookup with multiple black guys, or as “The Doctor” if you’ve been with multiple doctors. Granted it’s easy to label a guy by his race or profession if he’s the first of his kind you’ve been with, but you never know what the future holds. Hence why I have a Guy-With-Girlfriend and a Guy-With-Girlfriend 2. With my rate at attracting guys in relationships I’m surprised I haven’t gotten up to Guy-With-Girlfriend 10 yet. Try to stick with whatever is the weirdest thing that stuck about him, well unless you don’t want to be reminded of it, then choose something else. Like a sexual fetish that was unique to him or something he wore that was different.

Basically you have the complete freedom to label a guy whatever you want when discussing him with other people. Though do try to make sure he never hears about the nickname, especially if it’s something he wouldn’t like to find out you shared. Unless you’re never planning on seeing him again, then it doesn’t even matter. Label him with whatever moniker you want if he finds out about it or not!