Categories
Chelsea Clinton Featured

A New Low For New York Post – Writes “an open letter to Chelsea Clinton’s fetus”

The Republican outlet better known as the New York Post sank to a new low. In what they call at “letter” to Chelsea’s Fetus, the post parroted the usual nonsense from the Republicans and from Fox News, calling the pregnancy “campaign asset” and “stage prop” for “Lady Pantsuit'”

Here’s part of the post gutter sweeping.

Dear Baby Clinton-Mezvinsky:

Welcome to advanced gestation! Since you’re new around here, I thought you’d like to know a little bit about what makes you so special. The reason is, you’re going to live your whole life in make-believe!

Do you know the fairy stories about a princess in a castle? Well, you get to be that real-life prince or princess, in a real-life castle where Mommy Chelsea is also a princess, Grandma is about to be crowned Queen, and Grandpa Bill is a retired ex-King with lots of helpful advice on ruling the kingdom, er, monarchy. (Your other grandma and grandpa were both a kind of court vassal called Congressmen. Oopsies, other grandpa, Edward Mezvinsky, even went to something called “prison,” which is kind of like a big, cozy crib! Can you say “wire fraud”? Good, you can’t! Don’t! Around here we pretend Grandpa isn’t a criminal!)

Inside the castle towers you will find that Mommy, Mommy’s mommy and Mommy’s daddy Bill are all really good at make-believe games. So you get to pretend all the time! Mommy’s mommy and Mommy’s daddy even pretend to still be married even though they’ve been living hundreds of miles apart for 14 years!

Before you were even born your mommy’s mommy pretended that it’s a completely normal thing to announce your own grandchild’s birth to the world at a joint press appearance with your mom, hosted on Skype and live-streamed. With America Ferrera!

If you’re not already nauseated, the rest of the “letter” is here.

Exit mobile version