March 4, 2015 – EzKool

Jon Stewart – Republicans Gave Netanyahu “The Longest Blowjob A Jewish Man Ever Received”

Not fo nuffin’, but Jon Stewart again hit it on the head… when he called the Republican’s response to Benjamin Netanyahu’s speech, “the longest blow-job a Jewish man ever received!”

In the House chamber, there was no such reflecting. Netanyahu wrapped his speech up and it was time for another ten minutes of applause. Whether Netanyahu achieved his goal of sabotaging a deal with Iran or mistakenly opened up a riff in the U.S./Israeli relations, one thing is certain. The in chamber response to this speech was by far the longest blow job a Jewish man has ever received.

Stewart was of course talking about the Republican congressional speech Netanyahu gave at his Republican State of the Union Address, where he addressed a joint session of Congress about how terrible president Obama is for trying to get Iran to peacefully end their nuclear plans. Republicans loved hearing the foreign leader dogged Mr. Obama, and at the end of Benjamin’s speech, they awarded the Israeli leader with a thunderous applause… all that was left was for Ben’s pants to hit the floor!

Watch.

Six Year Old Girl’s Dying Wish Denied by Homeowners Association Bureaucrats

All the six year old cancer patient wanted was a playground in her yard, but the Homeowners Association denied it because, well, there is a certain look they must maintain.

A Missouri girl battling cancer was thrilled to learn a charity group wanted to make her own wish come true. She wanted her very own playhouse in her yard, but the homeowners’ association said it’s against the rules.

Six-year-old Ella is battling a deadly form of cancer, so when Make a Wish contacted her family offering to grant the little girl a wish, she asked for a playhouse. Organizers found someone thrilled to design and build the structure, even matching the shingles used on the homes in the neighborhood, but the homeowners’ association said no.

Stacy Bayers, Stone Gate Homeowner’s Association board president, told KCTV, “The proposed plan they’ve given us is a violation of our covenants.”

Bayers refused to discuss the topic further, saying the board wants to talk over the decision some more.

Neighbors like Brett Greble support making an exception in Ella’s case. “I want to look out the window and see Ella happy.”