I bet you didn’t know that masturbation began before birth. It’s okay, like you, I didn’t know this either. But thanks to the wonderful information provided by our friendly Republicans – you know, the same folks who taught us about legitimate rape and the ability of the woman’s body to “shut that whole thing down” if pregnancy occurs from illegitimate rape – we now know that fetuses, as early as 15 weeks old, pleasure themselves by masturbating.
This piece of info is brought to us compliments of Texas Republican Congressman Michael Burgess, who used the masturbation theory as a reason to push a bill outlawing abortions before 20 weeks. According to Mr. Burgess, if a 15 weeks fetus could feel pleasure from… pleasuring himself, then he could also feel the pain of an abortion.
The congressman explains;
“There is no question in my mind that a baby at 20-weeks after conception can feel pain. The fact of the matter is, I argue with the chairman because I thought the date was far too late. We should be setting this at 15-weeks, 16-weeks,” said the former OB/GYN during the House Rules Committee debate on the “Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act.”
“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful,” he continued. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe that they could feel pain?”
He has no doubt in his mind that this is so, so women must now give up their right to choose what’s best for their own health. Go Republicans!
