Republican Waterboy Marco Rubio Anncounces he’s Running for President

marco water

He only sipped water 3 times during his announcement. And he chose a small paper cup neatly positioned on the podium over the bottle of Poland Springs hidden off to the left. But when it was all over, Marco Rubio, the first term Republican Senator from Florida, officially tossed his hat into the race for president in 2016 joining the likes of fellow Republicans Rand Paul and Ted Cruz!

Rubio painted himself as the future, the only one capable of taking America forward. He talked about jobs, saying that the way to prepare for the jobs of the future is through education and re-education. Kinda like what Barack Obama has said since he began his run for President back in 20085. When talking about Hillary Clinton – who made her announcement 24 hrs before, Rubio called her a leader from “yesterday” determined to take America “back to yesterday.” Rubio then said, “yesterday is over” – a line sounding as if it came straight out of Sarah Palin’s mouth – to great applause from his audience.

And yes, his platform for running for president includes a total “repeal of Obamacare,” you know, taking away healthcare from tens of millions of Americans. This too, got the audience members rejoicing! Rubio also promises to do away with any nuclear deal made with Iran, thus allowing the middle eastern nation to continue their quick progress to getting a nuclear weapon.

With his announcement, the occupants in the clown car increase by one.

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Ezra Grant

I'm just tired of the lies and nonsense coming from the GOP, so this is my little contribution to combat the nonsense!

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