A Black Father’s Thoughts on the Dreaded Conversation with his Son

The verdict is still on my mind….I find it really troubling that in this day and age I will have to have “The Talk” with my son one day.

The Talk that explains how he needs to act when he gets pulled over by the police, The Talk that explains to him that he does not “fit the description”. The Talk that explains to him that he does not deserve to be stalked, he does not deserve to be profiled, and he does not deserve to get shot.

Through raising my son, he will know his life is not worthless, not meaningless. I am going to make sure that he grows into a God-fearing, God-loving, Handsome, Talented, Educated MAN with a beautiful family in which he is a wonderful Husband and Father. It is so sad that he has to grow up in this world in its current state.

Response email from  another father of a son:

 

 

I understand that racism is not a trait you are born with but it is learned, which makes it that much more evil. I can’t begin to tell you all the times I saw this growing up. As a white man you are constantly bombarded with racist comments, like an advertisement on TV about others and their appearance. The hatred is handed to you on a silver platter while the server smiles at you. As a kid you associate this nonchalant lesson with a positive one and you start (unknowingly) actualizing it. My parents taught me one great thing though, question EVERYTHING; so I did, I left no rock unturned. I questioned Christianity, God, my parents, and all authority. Racism was something that I truly believed I didn’t have a problem with. I didn’t feel like I was racist because I had friends of different colors. I didn’t realize until college that racism was a self-evident proposition and the true evil of it was that it didn’t need proof in order to exist. I didn’t have to believe in it to be influenced by it. This angered me because I let it in. My eyes opened up for the first time and I realized that racism will always be a constant internal struggle for me as much as it is an external struggle in our communities.This leads me back to my son. I haven’t taught my son about racism yet because I still see that innocence in his eyes, but after seeing your post I realize that I better start handing him love on a silver platter while smiling at him. I have to casually, and nonchalantly communicate equality. I HAVE to make it a daily thing in order to make it a self-evident proposition before he can question it and know that it is actually a self-evident truth that all men are equal. I decided to message you this because I didn’t know how others would view this. You taught me something today Evan. I owe my kids this and I have to work hard at it in order to make it reality.

 

m.

 

 

 

 

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