Timbuktu and Other Interesting Headlines

Seriously, the RESPONSIBILITY button for these two young men’s parental units needs to be reset.  That the The 22-year-old Ronaiah Tuiasosopo TV-Dr Phil-Girlfriend Hoaxwas repeatedly molested by someone close to his father, a church pastor and youth minister is reprehensible.

His father, Titus Tuiasosopo, says it was difficult to hear the details of the abuse his son suffered.

“When he told me the location, the time, I could go back and vividly remember those trips, the times that these guys came over,” he said. If you could recall the trips so vividly but never noticed that on those days your son was acting –as I’m sure he was–‘peculiar’ ? Know your kids dammit!  I’m from the ilk that believes if you’re not willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of throwing down your very lives for your kids then for God’s sake don’t have any. Anti-abortionists can kiss my ass. Raising another human being ain’t no joke brethren.  As for the also 22 y.o. Manti Te’o: Why a young, more handsome-than anyone-has-a-right-to-be, Notre Dame linebacker, MANTI TE O_USA-FOOTBALL-HOAX-272would settle for a virtual girlfriend rather than a flesh-and-blood cheerleader or liberal arts major is beyond me. A brief lesson in the Birds n’ Bees would have informed him that falling in love is done real time.

You never hear any news about the huge continent of Africa africanmapunless its bad news: starving, orphaned, Aids babies, coup d’états by militant juntas not keen on democratically elected officials, refugees fleeing genocidal guerrillas, Africans being experimental guinea pigs for big Pharma constant_gardener and now–wouldn’t you know it–Al Queda has invaded Timbuktu! (of all places) and has set up shop to spread the infamous Sharia Law across North Africa. Can you say “US Liberates Timbuktu”?  No? Don’t have to, Newsweek’s February 1st issue featuring Miss Hillary on it’s cover being hailed as the ‘Most Powerful Woman In American History’ beat you to it. Wanna hear some good things about the Motherland? Check out AFRICA: The Good News.

For the billionth time President Obama has had to clarify which employers will be exempt from having to cover contraception costs for their employees. Yesterday, he instructed those with religious objections to self-certify that they are non-profits with religion as a core part of their mission. Such employers do not have to pay for services to which they morally object to such as allowing women to have control over their own bodies and enjoying the kind of sexual freedom that thus far has only been allotted to people with penis’ (What exactly is the plural of penis? Is it one of those words that you just can’t make plural by adding an “s”  to it, like fungus or ox? Weird.)forest of giant penis

So that famous weather predicting rodent, Phil of  Punxsutawney, P.A. has seen his shadow today and once again, its been determined that–get this–winter is coming to an end! Really? Can a groundhog really predict when spring will arrive? I don’t know the answer to that, but I do wonder why we call animals dumb?

phil the groundhog


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Amy Conton is a freelance writer and graphic designer living in New York, USA.


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