- Ezkool

Arizona Needs To Know What A Presidential Candidate’s Penis Looks Like

On April 16, 2011, in Insanity, by Ezra Grant

Great! Just when you thought it was safe to go to Arizona, the Birthers officially took over the place.

Today, the Arizona Republican Senate bowed to the Birthers, and passed a bill requiring all presidential candidates to prove he or she is a natural-born citizen of the United States, prove their age and also prove that they meet the residency requirements, as dictated in the bill. If the presidential contender cannot provide the required proof within the alloted time period, then according to the bill, that person’s name cannot appear on the Arizona presidential ballot.

Also according to the bill, which passed both the Arizona House and Senate, the political party of the candidate must “provide to the Secretary of State written notice of that party’s nomination for President and Vice President.” The bill then states that within 10 days after the political party provides the names of their nominee, an affidavit must be presented to Arizona, stating “the candidate’s citizenship and age and shall append to the affidavit documents that prove the candidate is a natural-born citizen.”

And get this… just in case the candidate cannot provide their long-form birth certificate, the legislation has an alternative. The presidential candidate will be allowed to put their name on the Arizona ballot if they can provide, among other things, their circumcision certificate.

So to understand exactly what is required to be on the Arizona presidential ballot starting in 2012, all candidates will need; proof of age, proof of residency, a long-form birth certificate, and if all else fails, then your circumcision certificate will do.

Of course, that requirement is not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution, which clearly states, “no person except a natural born Citizen” shall be eligible for President of the United States. But apparently, the founding fathers forgot to mention the circumcision certificate as proof of eligibility.

The bill now heads back to the Arizona House for a final vote where it is expected to pass, then it goes to Republican Governor Jan Brewer’s desk for her to sign it into law. That too, is expected to happen.

Wonder if those founding fathers ever thought that a description of one’s penis will be a qualifier for a United States presidential candidate?

I don’t think so.

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